this is me.

These last few weeks have passed in a whirlwind.  Our life is beyond busy; the regular business of life compounded as I try to build a photography business on the side.  Being back at work has been many things - an adjustment, a sacrifice, a joy, a sorrow.  I feel good - to be using my education, to be connecting with clients I have missed, to feel like I am contributing financially to our family budget and goals.  But it has been so hard to be apart from Judah for so many hours in a day, sorrow when its bedtime, which seems to come much too early.  But, after two weeks, we have settled into a routine that - fingers crossed - will work for us.  I have figured out a few things:

:: the slow cooker is my new best friend.  To have dinner ready when we get home from work means both Jody and I have more time with Judah before bedtime.

:: the early bird gets the worm.  I have been waking up early.  As in e.a.r.l.y!  It takes a few moments for a groggy haze to dissipate, but it gives me time to read my bible, do a few chores, email and edit and get ready for work before Judah wakes.  Because then, once he's awake, its just momma & Judah time.  I feed him a leisurely breakfast and read books and tickle and feed Minnow treats and go for a walk, looking at birds and touching plants.  It lets me go to work feeling like we had a good hour and a half of quality time.  Last week, out of exhaustion and laziness, I slept in a few times and wasn't able to have this time with him.  It made for a lousy day.

:: Wednesday.  Its my new favorite day.  I'm not sure that I've had a favorite day before, but now it is definitely Wednesday.  Because Thursday is my Friday.  And Wednesday means its almost Thursday.

:: Cleanliness.  Its over-rated.  My house is a disaster, the laundry pile claiming most of the underwear and socks Jody and I own.  I have stopped obsessing over the dishes and the bathrooms and have been just letting myself slack off a bit, with no guilt.

:: 7:30.  Until 7:30 (Judah's bedtime), nothing gets done.  No phone calls are returned, texts unanswered.  Its 100% family time.  We talk about our days, we play games and walk to the park, we eat dinner and cuddle.  Its just the three of us, together.

I know many people wouldn't agree with certain decisions Jody and I are making right now.  For me to work, for Judah to be in daycare.  But it is what our family needs right now.  Yes, I would love to be home full-time.  Or have the luxury of working only a day or two a week.  But, I also feel incredibly lucky to have a job I love.  Not everyone can say that.  And I do love it.  I love the clients, my co-workers, floss and toothbrushes.

This is our life right now.  It is busy and exhausting and full.  But it is our life and we love it.