this is me.

5 things I've learned about pregnancy & motherhood.

1. Even though they are very small & new, babies fart as loudly as a full grown man. The amount of grunting and effort required to push out such a small, liquidy poop is astonishing. And entertaining. We still laugh as he turns red and starts the 5-minute long grunting process.

2. For the first two weeks of a baby's life, your main job is feeding. And feeding. And more feeding. Your primary outfit for those two weeks consists of your most comfortable pair of pants (for me it was old Guess jeans) and a nursing bra, usually with one flap open and breast ready for duty. Forget the shirt. Unless company is over, of course. :)

3. As soon as you give birth, there is something that happens to your brain that causes you to feel an increased sense of urgency whenever your baby cries. It causes me to get completely flustered, especially if I know he's hungry. Clothes go flying as quickly as possible, which sometimes results in lost clothing. Like belts. At Starbucks. And then you have to call and ask if you forgot your belt there. At Starbucks. Which made me feel like a complete weirdo. Til the girl admitted they were all trying the said belt on.

4. When your milk comes in, its not a long process. I knew that milk coming in = Dolly Parton. But, for some reason, I thought it was a process that took a few hours or an evening. Not minutes, literally. Within about 10 minutes, your breast undergo a rapid, Pamela Anderson-like enlargement and leave your breasts wondering what just happened. Thankfully, this doesn't last long. And the men seem to get a kick out of it.

5. When you become a mother, you automatically lose one arm. I eat with one arm, do dishes with one arm, type with one arm. My other arm belongs soley to Judah - entertaining him, feeding him, cuddling him. I kinda like it.

So, that's what I've learned in my time as a mother.