This weekend, three different people on three different days said that Judah looks like me.  I have waited almost five months to hear that little Jody Jr. resembles his momma.  Thank you, people; You have no idea how happy you've made me.

:: Heat Wave ::

A couple of weeks ago, Judah & I went to visit my mom for a few days in the city and to do some shopping, socializing, and mainly just lazing around, like a perfect summer's day.

One especially hot afternoon, my mom came up with the idea of putting Judah in a pot of water, his own private pool. Ingenious?!  Yes.  White trash?!  Slightly.  Fun?!  Definitely.

His little brow furrowing, not quite sure what's going on.

Eye-ing up the pot.  I know the only thought running through his mind is "Can I eat this?!" Teething means everything, even metal pots, are possible teething toys.

Judah's body guard - the ever-present Minnow.  Watching over her little brother, who she's slowly beginning to love.

Judah & Nona.  She's desperately in love.  :)

Just watched this video essay, linked from another blog, about motherhood.  It really is beautiful.

Mom 2.0: Defining a Movement

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E8K9s7_k3TM&feature=player_embedded

Two of my favorite statements in it are:

"You have to be brave with your life, so that others can be brave with theirs."

"You are writing the story of your only life every single minute of every single day and my greatest hope for you, sweet child, is that I can teach you how to write a good one."

Amen & Amen.  That is my prayer.

**Just as I was working on this post, my girlfriend, Christina, posted a video on her blog with a similar theme.  I just watched it (while slacking off from my garage sale duties) and it made me want to cry.**

The Gift of an Ordinary Day

http://vimeo.com/8054255

Back when Jody was growing up, his mom had a book called "Don't Eat the Doily" that she'd conveniently leave in the bathroom.  I think this is partly the reason Jody is such a gentlemen today (*insert semi-sarcastic cough here).

These books are a martial take on manners.  I was happy to be reminded to compliment Jody's chickens before leaving for the Opera.  Its so easy to overlook that kind of thing.

DON'T for Wives
Don't omit to pay your husband an occasional compliment. If he looks nice as he comes in dressed for the opera, tell him so. If he has been successful with his chickens, or his garden, or his photography, compliment him on his results. Don't let him have to fall back on self-esteem all the while for want of a little well-directed praise.
DON'T for Husbands
Don't stubbornly refuse to put on your overcoat on a threatening morning, and then when, after getting wet through on the way to the station and sitting in your wet clothes, you develop a bad cold, take it out of your wife by being crotchety and irritable.

While at my brother's house warming dinner & family game night this weekend, I discovered two new things.

#1 - Nikki McClure -

She's an artist who uses only an X-acto knife and cuts her images from a single sheet of black construction paper.  I fell in love with this image from buyolympia.com and the best part is its only $9!  It totally appeals to me as a momma.

#2 - Cluzzle -  

We'd never played this game before and it was hilarious.  Sadly, we had to leave before the game was over (I was totally going to win though).  Its similar to Cranium in the fun factor and the group dynamic factor.  Its now on our list of games to buy.

My true goal in life, since having Judah, is being someone he can be proud of.  I have flaws.  I am faulty and have cracks and scars.  But I'm trying.  I'm not yet there; I'm only a fraction, a sliver of the person that I want to become for him.  But having a child changes everything and makes you realize that the choices you make in life, the things that you decide are important, affect someone other than you.  You become accountable to someone else.  

I realized this most acutely when my dad died.  I've heard all the cliches - that it was his time, God called him home, we don't understand God's reasoning.  I don't believe any of it.  I believe that he died pre-maturely because of the choices he made in life, poor choices that affected not only him but myself, my brothers, our children.  Judah will never know his grandfather.  My dad missed our wedding, my pregnancy, my brother's university graduation, my other brothers' high school graduations.  I don't believe this was from God calling him home early.  I believe smoking, an unhealthy lifestyle, stress all lead to him dying early.  Its selfish & death sucks.  

Losing my father and giving birth to my baby make me realize I live for more than just me and need to be accountable.  I live for others, namely Judah (& in the future, our other children).  I need to try hard to live the best possible life I can live, to be the best possible version of myself I can be.  I'm a work in progress.  But I'm trying.  And I refuse to quit.

:: 4 Month Photoshoot ::  

A few weeks late...

Over the course of the last few weeks, Judah discovered a new game - covering his own face with a blanket.  Sometimes he acts like he can't breathe, gasping little breaths and flailing his arms & legs.  Other times, he's as cool as a cucumber and just lies there calmly, appearing to love the solitude.  He does it with light summer blankets, tiny blankets and even managed to prop a calculator on his face while visiting his Dodo at work this past week.  Sadly, I didn't have my camera for that one.  Its become quite a source of entertainment for Jody & me, watching our little bebe play.

(*Dodo: our strange term for our beloved Grandpa; its been around for generations on Jody's side of the family.)   

Ability is what you’re capable of doing. Motivation determines what you do. Attitude determines how well you do it. ~ Lou Holtz

Mission = Sleep

Over this last month, we've been getting to the habit of a definite sleep routine & bedtime.  Before now, we were fairly consistent, but used Judah's cues a lot to know when he was tired.  We'd also vary the routine if we were out or with friends.  But, now we are hardcore.  Bedtime = bedtime, regardless of location or setting.

During the day Judah naps when he wants to. We don’t follow a schedule, per se, but he does nap at approximately the same times each day.  For now, its been working and makes sense for us because we are always on the go - hiking the trails, visiting with our babies friends, running errands.  Thankfully, Judah can sleep with a buzz of normal activity around and is lulled to sleep by the neighbours dog barking, other children playing or the coffee shop buzz.

Our new "Its bed time" routine begins at 7:30:

• Bath (sometimes with mommy - which I totally love!)
• Baby full body massage.  Judah loves having his little arms, legs, belly, and feet massaged and totally begins to relax.  Jody and I take turns giving him massages.  And even a lucky grandparent might get a turn when they are around.  It really is fun, because he loves it so.
• Story time.  We read to him from his ever growing stack of baby books.  We already have most of them memorized.
• Nurse him until he's nice and full with the lights down low.
• Swaddle him into his new Woombie.  This invention is amazing!  I ordered one and sent it to Hagens of Blaine because the shipping to Canada was too expensive.  But it honestly is incredible and has improved his sleeping 100%.  He's a master Houdini at escaping from the tightest of swaddles and then spends the night waking himself up with his flailing arms and legs.  The Woobie has completely changed that - he gets just enough stretch to move comfortably and get to this finger tips to suck but at that same time is still restricted enough to sleep well.  Get your hands on one of these anyway you can!

[This picture makes me laugh every time I see it.  There just seems something strange about it, but it is incredible - weird or not.]

• Turn on his baby worship music and cuddle him for 1 song, laying him down while he's still awake.
• Dream feed @ 10 or 10:30 p.m. before I go to bed.

With this routine, we are getting him to sleep for 8 straight hours - waking up at 4:30 or 5am for a quick feeding (less than 20 minutes)  - and then we lay him back down awake and he falls asleep and usually doesn’t wake up again until around 7am. At that point, I bring him in the bed with me to nurse and cuddle as daddy gets ready for work.  

The first few nights, he cried for about 5 minutes at the normal times he had been waking up - for feedings and cuddles.  I got firm because I personally felt that the sleep deprivation wasn't making me function at my finest and my doctor told me to smartin' up, that he didn't need so many night time feedings anymore.  It was really hard and I was frightened that he would cry longer, but the first night made me realize he was ready to sleep through the night, he just needs a little help.  If he cried hard, I would go in an comfort him and almost immediately he calmed down & fell asleep.

Every baby is totally unique, but this has been working for us and allowing me to finally catch up on some much needed sleep.  Anyone else have helpful tips or trade mommy secrets that helped with their little ones?!  I appreciate any help I can get in this department! :)

I'm a bit behind in my picture updates, but here's a little glimpse of our last few weeks...

Lazy days at the beach.  Where Minnow outshines Judah.  She usually has a herd of children chasing after her as she flops through the shallow water & tramples sand.  She loves every second of it.

Judah found his toes - they are delish!

(He's getting some help in this picture, but he can do it unassisted now.)

Boys were boys.

We had a cooking lesson!

Some good friends came over and taught us how to make sushi.  They had a party a few months ago and had made amazing home-made sushi, so I begged for a lesson.  I supplied the wine and they came over for a night of Yahtzee, sushi, gelato and fun!

Minnow met a new man.  Er, I mean boy.  Aside from having the best baby hair on the Sunshine Coast, he's got a gorgeous giggle!  Pure bliss.

We went for a nature walk to find a new lake.  It turned into a three-hour, Grouse Grind-esqe, I-don't-want-to-get-eaten-by-a-cougar-in-the-woods family adventure to a lake that doesn't exist.  Totally fun, right?!

:: Mommas Matter ::

I just got my new issue of Today's Parent yesterday in the mail and as I read it last night, simulaneously with watching Bachelor Pad (shame, Melissa, shame), two articles caught my attention and reinforced why being a good momma - a great momma - the best momma I can be - is my ultimate goal.

The first was in regard to a UBC study that found children who grow up in poverty are less at risk for heart disease and mental health problems, both of which are linked with poverty, when they have warm and loving moms.  "Mothers can have a profound influence that you can see on a molecular level," says the study's co-author Michael Kobor.

Another new study with older children, aged 7 - 12, showed that after a stressful event, those children that hugged or talked to their moms had notably lower levels of cortisol, a stress hormone, than those who had no contact.  And that calming effect lasted more than an hour.

It blew me away that a momma's love can counteract these situations, one terrible and one stressful, on such a profound level.  Incredible!, in short, moms (& future mommas) are amazing people.

I simply adore this book.  We got it from some friends when Judah was born and the first time I read it, only a few weeks after he was born, I wanted to cry.  And I don't cry often.  That's how much I adore it.  Or it was the post-delivery hormones.  Whatever.

The message behind this book is what made me fall in love with it - you are wholly an original, designed completely unique.  The whole earth celebrates your presence and your creation.  You are a miracle and amaze the universe.  And your parents.

I get accused of spoiling Judah all the time (which of course is impossible), and mainly by Carys, who is only four and a half, so it doesn't count.  But I will continue to spoil him and give him these message - that he is great and loved and amazing - over and over, again and again, every day and every night.  I often felt inadequate growing up and my hope is that by infusing Judah with a strong belief in himself, he will never stop to wonder if he is smart enough or strong enough or just enough in general.  

At the same time, we'll teach him that everyone else is also amazing, even if they don't believe it of themselves.  This way Judah will never believe he's more great or more loved or more amazing than others.  But rather that he is the one and only ever you.  And that he celebrates this.

“But there’s a story behind everything. How a picture got on a wall. How a scar got on your face. Sometimes the stories are simple, and sometimes they are hard and heartbreaking. But behind all your stories is always your mother’s story, because hers is where yours begin.” ~Mitch Albom

:: First Cold ::

This is the face of Judah's first cold.

(Look at that little tear.)

And this is what saved us... The Magic Snot Sucker. Also known as the Graco Nasal Aspirator. We got it at Babies R Us for $20.99 and it was worth every penny. It even plays 12 different songs while sucking snot... entertaining and efficient.

This is high on my list of "Baby Things I Love".

Just thought I'd share.

A few weeks ago, when my girlfriend Courtney was planning her last minute backyard wedding, I volunteered to make the cake and cupcakes. Initially, it seemed like no big deal. I even made testers of both the cake & cupcakes, just to double check the recipes and the "process".

Cue: Morning of the Wedding.

The cake layers & 75 cupcakes were baked and ready for icing. What do I do - change the icing recipe. Seriously, what was I thinking?! Who does that? Its a wedding cake! Of someone I really like, not a friend I'm trying to divorce!

Well, this is what happens... Yup, a sweet (hehe) freakin' disaster. I turned my back on that cake for 2 minutes and it begins looking like the Leaning Tower of Wedding Cakes. I begin screaming for Jody! Out come spatulas and flippers as we disassemble and begin de-icing the cake.

It then looks like this:

I am sure the wedding is going to be cancel and Courtney will never talk to me again. Jody tells me to get a grip and take a breathe. I wonder out loud where I can get a wedding cake on short notice... maybe IQA? Have they started catering weddings?! Should I go check?! After I make the original icing, still hysterical, Jody kicks me out of the kitchen. I'm freaking both of us out.

When I was allowed back in the kitchen, this is what the cake looked like:

Honestly, where did I get this guy!?!

The cake & cupcakes looked amazing and no one would have ever guessed the disaster of a morning Jody and I had. The sheer panic of it sent us running to the Cold Beer&Wine store inappropriately early. Drink anyone?!

Snickerdoodle goodness.

Although volunteering to make a wedding cake and a trillon cupcakes might not have been the smartest move on my part (or so Jody tells me), it did achieve one of my goals of living my life boldly for others. I equate my gusto in volunteering to a desire to show Courtney what her friendship means to me in doing something large & helpful for her. It may have been naive to believe it would all go smoothly; in reality, it was hectic, semi-insane, and hysterical all at the same time. But I would do it all again.

[Pssss. Don't tell Jody I wrote that.]

The cake was Martha Stewart's Red Velvet Cake and the cupcakes were her Snickerdoodle Cupcakes. Both are absolutely to die for and are in my permanent recipe collection now.

The icing for them all was Bonnie Stern's Vanilla Icing:

(I couldn't find it on-line)

1 cup butter, room temperature

6 cups icing sugar

1/3 cup milk

2 tsp vanilla

For icing, in a large bowl, beat butter until light. Gradually beat in about 4 cups icing sugar. Beat in milk & vanilla. Gradually add remaining icing sugar. Cover icing tightly with plastic wrap if you are not using it right away (it gets stiff fast).

:: Captured ::

A few weeks ago, we had some pictures taken with Carmen van Dyck. She just posted the photos on her blog this weekend and I couldn't be more thrilled! Judah wasn't in a very good mood that day and would not crack a smile for anything. Funny faces, goofy noises, tickles... nothing was impressing him. To make it even worse, he napped late that morning and we had to WAKE HIM UP after only a half hour nap to start. Aggg. So the pictures Carmen was able to capture are even more amazing!

I had initially forgo the idea of professional infant pictures because of a lack of funds and instead took some newborn ones of Judah myself. Quickly, I reconsidered. I thought my photos were ok, but realized quickly the value, for me personally, of having these special moments professionally captured... both for us in the future & to enjoy now, and for Judah, when he's older. I really like how they turned out - this ended up being a great age to get photos taken.

One of my favorites!

Awesome little blue retro couch! Carmen came prepared with props. See, I said she was great! :)

Me & my sweet little lovie.

Family lovin'. Look at that little monsters face in the first picture! I was afraid he'd look like that in every one!

I special requested this picture. I'd seen it on Carmen's blog with another family. I'm such a copy cat!

Love the bow tie ones! Seriously, I make cute babies. ;)

Oh, blue-eyes, how do I love thee.

Our wee family of three. Sometimes I think we should make it four... *wink*. Just kidding. Not quite yet.

Carmen, thank you so so much for these pictures & fitting us into your crazy summer schedule. We love them all!

This is primarily a pep talk for myself more than anyone else. But, I'm going to post it, just in case any other mamas can relate and need the encouragement.

No one, not Mr. Ferber or the Baby Whisperer or the dude who wrote Baby Wise, know what's better for your child than you do. Neither do your friends, your co-workers, your parents or a panel of experts.

Recently, I was having a discussion with a few mommy friends about how people can sometimes make you question everything you do as a parent. Or make you feel the need to validate every little decision that you make in regard to your child. I'm beginning to realize more and more that there are decisions that we must make, incredibly hard and thought-provoking and challenging decisions. These decisions surround how we birth our children, circumcision, immunizations & vaccines, feeding

& bathing them, sleep schedules. It never ends. And they all, in their own way, seem monumental. And people always have an opinion.

I had a mild breakdown while attempting to figure out sleep training and which, if any, method we would use. For fear of being those parents driving our children to sleep for every nap & bedtime for the first few years (this actually happened to people we know!), I read (aka quickly skimmed) numerous books on sleep training. One said no crying, just pick-up and put-down. Another said crying is ok, good even. And another said 5 minutes of crying is enough. Um, confusion! After a few horrible days of crying, I was frustrated and my baby was still awake. And still crying! So we quickly made our own routine involving cuddles, rocking, music and laying Judah down while he's still awake. Its like a Judah & moi blend of all three books. And I'm not a stickler and am often lured out of the house by the temptation of coffee dates and motherly gossip.

When the recipient of unwanted advice, I often remind myself that my baby is one of a kind and his is mine. No one else will venomously defend, earnestly pray over, intensely research, debate or lose sleep over what is best for him and our family like I will. Except maybe Jody. But highly unlikely.

No ones' opinion or advice should make you or me feel guilty about our parenting decisions. We each know our own children and their individual needs the most completely and wholly, more than any other, regardless of their good intentions. I will be Judah's expert, his advocate, his protector, and his mother, to the best of my abilities. And even better still, with God's grace.

In direct defiance of much advice I have been given, I am currently wearing Judah, still asleep in his Ergo Baby Carrier, on my chest. We just got home from a walk about 20 minutes ago and I wandered the house for a while, simultaneously doing chores and savoring the smell and touch of him. I don't want to look at him one day when he's a toddler, running wild, and realize I didn't cuddle him for fear of breaking a schedule or creating an attached monster. Tomorrow I will make him nap nicely, as per our routine, but for right now, this moment, I will cuddle him.